Egg Count Pride

My anxiety is rising as we prepare to go to Dallas on Monday. Our appointment will primarily focus on getting a thorough ultrasound to see how many follicles I have, and how big they are.  A follicle is basically a small “sack” of fluid, with an egg inside. It is possible to have empty follicles, but we won’t know that until they actually try to retrieve my eggs, sometime next weekend.

Dr. S has prepared for me to be a “slow responder” which basically means that my ovaries need a lot more help developing and growing and follicles, and I probably won’t make as many as a they typical 29 year old.  I have taken the maximum dosage of gonal f, and we added another drug called menopur on Thursday.  I have been warned that we may actually see very little progress on Monday, but hopefully by the end of next week I will have many healthy, similarly sized follicles in each ovary.  Growing follicles is a delicate process that has to be monitored carefully.  If we try too hard, or are too aggressive with the medications, we can risk damaging the eggs or over stimulating my ovaries, which is painful and actually pretty dangerous.

Dr. S has predicted that for me, 1 out of 6 eggs are good enough to “become a baby.”  Most eggs are actually never meant to fertilize and develop.  So, a goal would be to retrieve 12-15 eggs.  That would give us the best possible shot at having two perfect healthy embryos to transfer.

Science lesson over.  Now let’s be real. J

I am already obsessed over the number of eggs.  Totally.  Pathologically. Obsessed.   It’s like a source of pride in the IVF world.  I know a girl who made 28 in one cycle.  She posted about it on you tube…and I probably would have too.  Never mind that she overstimulated and actually ended up canceling the cycle...because “hello!”….she made 28 freaking eggs!!

When you finally have to resort to IVF in order to try to create a baby, all your pride just gets completely sucked out of you.  Your body is essentially broken, and you place all of your physical and emotional privacy into the hands of strangers. Nothing about your body, your love life, or your relationship is left to the imagination.  And you get to experience all of this wonderful discomfort for the whopping price of $15,000.   So while it’s easy for people to say not to worry about the details, sometimes all you have left is egg count pride, even if it is driven with hormone assistance.  J

I will post an update here after my appointment.

Love,

Juli