He’ll ask me questions, or try to guess and he gets so frustrated when I flippantly respond with “we didn’t talk about that”, or “I didn’t ask her about that.” It is funny to me, but I never know exactly how to describe what it is that we girls spend so much time conversing about.
Lately, I’m starting to realize that our conversations center around one topic: managing life. We spend hours discussing what we have tried lately when it comes to juggling work, kids, church, meals, chores, etc, etc, ETC. Women can easily start an hour long conversation with the phrase “what are you cooking for dinner tonight?” Because it is so hard. Putting meals on the table 3+ times a day is hard before you have kids and downright impossible afterwards. Cleaning them up day in and day out is brutal. There is no one to cheer you on or write you a thank you note, or congratulate you with a raise at the end of the day when none of the children starved and every little and big body in the house (including the dog) has had it’s nutritional needs met….except you.
Women really need other women to discuss this with.
I really like social media. Facebook and blogs are great. I don’t personally understand Instagram or Twitter but I know lots of people who do. Most of my recipes come from Pinterest ( because 20 Crockpot Meals for 20 dollars was brilliant). However, I don’t like how social media has suddenly made all of us women feel like failures. What started as the occasional opportunity for you to share an area that you are especially gifted in, can become a constant source of insecurity if I let it. I am an overachiever and want to be gifted at everything. And it only takes ten minutes on pinterest to start making me feel guilty. I don’t sew. I can hardly cook. I should really stop cleaning with chemicals and buy spray bottles and vinegar. Who are these people that teach their toddlers about the bible by cutting and creating the characters out of felt?
They must be the moms who jog every single morning, and somehow still have time to get their nails done. And then they make plans for their weekly date night because THEIR MARRIAGE COMES FIRST.
Anybody feel like a failure yet?
Amen.
These are the things women talk about. We desperately want to know how our friends are managing. How do they do it? What are they letting slide? And those very real authentic conversations make us feel better. Because we need to hear that no one has it altogether, despite what it seems.
I love my sister removing the door handles to my nieces bedroom and turning it around so she can lock the door from the outside. She tells me that the fourth child is all about shooting for survival.
Ran into a friend the other day at Target…and her child was still in pajamas at 1:00 in the afternoon.
One of my friends lied to her daughter’s day care about her attempts at potty training. She buys and puts pull ups in her daughter’s bag for effect. That is awesome.
Another recommends Benedryl and earplugs for Fourth of July and New Year’s Eve. I am seriously considering inacting the Benedryl part of the plan on our nine hour car ride to Victoria at Thanksgiving. And have spent time looking at the calendar for a good day to give the Benedryl a test run before we go.
I could go on, and on and on.
The biggest lie we were ever told as young girls is that we can have it all. We can’t. We can have a lot, but we can’t have everything. I remind myself of that when I see that perfect looking woman, with the gorgeous kids, and her thriving career. I work with someone who bounces in every morning looking like a supermodel. She is energetic. She has on makeup. Her hair is always fixed. And I remind myself that her day only has 24 hours in it…just like mine. Somewhere in there, there is a gap. She is cutting corners too….even if I don’t see it.
This video says it best...
Nobody has it all together.
Not even the family sitting in front of you.
Not even the family sitting in front of you.
Love,
Juli
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