Detoxing...

I have been in literal detox for the last 48 hours. That is really the only way to describe it. I have just begun my last rotation at Texas Children's, with a concentration in the ICU. I am not enjoying it as much as my previous rotations, but it is an important learning experience. (At least that is what everyone keeps telling me.) After one week, I can pretty much sum it up with one word: chocolate. And lots of it. The amount of calories that are consumed by the staff is bewildering. Worse, by day two, I found myself joining in. It is not so much stress, as it is just the need for comfort. We women are most prone to this kind of thing. Cross candy and hormones and all of sudden you get a need to devour Hersey Kisses for breakfast. And given the fact that Halloween ended just a mere one week ago I 'll bet I wasn't the only one this week overdosing on sugar.

Believe it or not, it is actually time for me to begin sprucing up my resume and cover letter, and start trying to find a job. I guess I should be excited, but I have to admit, I'm worried. I don't do change well, and the worst thing in the world for me is uncertainty. I have a creeping suspicion that this might be one of those times where God tries to teach me something about patience or faith, and, at the risk of sounding heathen like, I'm not thrilled about it. It's one thing to say that you believe that God has a plan for your life, but it is another thing entirely to just blindly trust Him, while in the throes of change. I wouldn't say that I have trust issues, more like an expectation problem. I thrive off routine and fulfilled expectations. So when God doesn't come through the way I thave planned, I tend to get upset. I have a friend named Amy who explained it like this once: She said, "I like to think that when someone doesn't agree with me, I just wasn't clear. Like, oh, you didn't hear me. Let me explain it a different way."

Isn't that hilarious?! And I am so like that with God. It's like, "Hey God. Excuse me, you must have misunderstood. You must have simply overlooked my dwindling bank account and the fact that I really want to go home to Austin. And hey, while I'm at at it, did you forget that I need a great apartment and a man too? Yeah, that's what I thought. Just helping you keep it all straight."

Meanwhile, as most of you know, America spoke last week, and we have elected a new president. I completed my civic duty and voted, albeit, by mail. On Wednesday morning I awoke and turned on the TV to check the results and was met by a clip of Obama proclaiming that his girls had earned a new dog for the White House. And child life specialists around the world collectively sigh. Those kids are going to need a heck of a lot more that a dog to make up for what they are about to go through. Imagine being 7 years old and being uprooted from the home you have lived in your whole life and sentanced to a lifetime of secret service detail, intrusive photographers, and an increasingly absent Mom and Dad. A bit jaded, I admit, but absolutely truthful. Of course, I spent the last week molding dying children's hands with plaster and helping a father tell his five year old that Mommy wouldn't be coming home from the hospital this time. Given my new reality, I think I am entitled to be just a little judgemental about what the important things are in life.

I digress.

I guess what I have to say is, that while Obama might not have been my choice for president, I can appreciate how lucky we are to live in a nation that allows us to choose. I will be praying for our country, for his decisions, but also for his family.

And now I am headed off to enjoy the final few hours of my weekend detox. Have a wonderful week, and go easy on the chocolate.

Love,
Juli